At the tender age of five, Donald Marshall was cloned underground by the Illuminati by his parents led by Queen Elizabeth, and would enter his clone during his sleep and be tormented by the elites who ruled the world.
Underground Adventures Edit
Initially cloned to be a “diddle kid”, Donald would eventually be held at knifepoint by Queen Elizabeth and be forced to use his AMAZING singing and songwriting abilities to produce hit songs for famous musicians, including Britney Spears. Donald’s bloodied body even appeared on the Megadeth album, The World Needs A Hero. The Queen also turned Donald’s family against him by telling them that he molested the children of the royal family.
Donald was also forced to partake in gladiator fights with other cloned children (which he was also great at), but his sword fighting career was cut short after killed a kid and spazzed out, resulting in him being tormented and made fun of by the Illuminati. At least he wasn’t spear fighting...
“Worse than sword fighting? Spear fighting. Spear fighting lasts a long time. Poky poky poky poky, man.” - Donald Marshall
Donald Meets the Crazy Elite Edit
Donald would meet other elite Illuminati’s who would partake in the underground debauchery such as Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama, the Pope, drug lords, and Henry Kissinger with his pet lizard Herbert.
“Herbert, Herbert.” - Donald Marshall being Donald Marshall
There would also be famous celebrities underground who sold their souls to the Illuminati and Donald had some odd encounters with them. Here are some examples
- Bernie Mac was given a brain aneurysm and died after standing up for Donald.
- He was set on fire by George Lucas to teach Hayden Christensen how to scream realistically (I guess it didn’t work).
- Donald was stabbed repeatedly by Mila Kunis for insulting her.
“You’re a slimy scumbag for hanging with these people, and you have enormous eyeballs, and you look like a lemur.” - Donald Marshall's insult to Mila Kunis
Donald is hated by the Illuminati and is often tortured by them, but they won’t kill him because of his artistic abilities and because they believe he is the antichrist, or even Jesus, or some stupid shit like that.
The Vril (or Vrill. Donald doesn't know how to spell it) Edit
Perhaps the most terrifying thing Donald encountered underground were the Vril, reptilians who live underground and control the Illuminati. They are descended from the dinosaurs and possess a proboscis that can shoot into another animal’s eye (usually humans) and transfers the Vril into the body of the animal. This process is known as “sweating the quill”. Donald has noted that the Illuminati want this ability, and have developed a similar device that mimics the proboscis in a more primitive way.
“The come from deep deep underground, like below deep base deep.” - Donald Marshall on the Vril
Don't Believe Donald? Well, Check This Shit Out Edit
Famous person Tila Tequila has corroborated with Donald, confirming everything from the cloning stations to Queen Elizabeth. So there you go. It’s all true.